I have discovered over the past few weeks exactly how strange my brain is. Most people have learned how to connect their conscious and their subconscious. I have yet to do that. That and develop a social filter, but the filter seems to be going better than the other. This post is all about one thing: my brain is the weirdest thing ever. I don't know what is scarier. Being the person that hears all of the thoughts that travels through it every second or being my mom who gets to hear the stories of how it works. Trust me, it's bad. But don't just take my word for it. Here is a series of events that happen and my brain's reaction to it that have all happened since March of this year.
Examples of things I like fresh out of the dryer: Jeans, sweatshirts, sheets, and pears
Rain coming down hard on the roof of my car: "Oooo the woodland fairies are coming out to give me a little dance
My anatomy teacher expelling the difference between secretion and absorption. He explained that the open space within any part of an organ is called a lumen. In absorption nutrients go through the lumen wall into the blood vessels in the membrane: (to the tune of the song "Get Low" which I haven't heard since I last watched "The Proposal" three months previous) To the lumen, to the wall. Not down the organ wall but to the blood vessels crawl.
Getting up to my alarm clock with an adjustable snooze. I had a 7:30 class and had to leave at 6:45 to get there on time. The plan was to get up at 5:30 to get ready and make food for the day. The alarm goes off: I hope you don't mind, I took a moment of indulgence (the clock said 6:30 and I don't even recall it ever going off beforehand).
Thunder rolling during the night: oh wait, that one was my tummy
Graduating high school: Tah-Done
Heart shaped strawberry: Ah, I love you too strawberry
Watching the movie "Prince and Me": I should play a game where I make up Facebook statuses for random parts of a movie
Not finishing an episode of a crime show: dream about my being the detective
At the end of a bad day: If today had a Facebook fan page, I would not like it
Driving to school only using my thumbs: Thumb drive!
The top break light in my station wagon fell out making it just glow in my trunk space when I put my foot on the brakes: It's the ghost light!
Headlights on cars: see the faces in them
Have three weeks worth of assignments due Sunday for one online class and responses to discussion posts in my other online class due today: get on my long lost blog.
Yup, my brain is really weird. Most of these I did without any thought at all.....actually all of them without any concentration. They all happened in an instant. And speaking of the last one I have classes to go take care of. Thanks for reading, I hope you got as much entertainment out of it as I did thinking of it.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Drunk Texting
Okay so I know it's been a while. I could give you all of the marvelous excuses that would completely explain while I haven't posted a story or thought of late but the truth is they all fall under one really good saying. "Excuses are like armpits, everyone has two and they both stink" (said a really wise person I just don't know who). So no matter how much deodorant I could apply to those excuses, it just won't cut it. Rather I will just once again grace you with a really good story.
So in the last month I have become an official adult. Two months ago I graduated from high school. I'm starting to get.....old. (Extra points to whoever can name that movie) I tell you this because this story comes from some months ago, before I went from a minor to a major. As you all know, I have been attending college while in high school. Even though most people go to this college for a general AA degree, I am going to become a personal trainer. Yes! Well in this program, you have the same teacher for just about every class and the same people within just about every class. Everyone in this program becomes very close and comfortable with each. Sometimes a little too close. Okay, now that I have set up this story for you, it is time :)
One of my programmates is from another country with a really awesome name. He is super friendly and funny, but still has a huge language and culture barrier. One day I log into Facebook and he has friend requested me. So I said to myself, "Self, he's in my classes, I see him almost everyday, why not?" First mistake. Another day I log in and he pops up on the little messenger thing. And we talked for like 30 seconds, my typical conversation length (I'm not very sociable). This happens several times, each time the fact that I was still in high school came up. The last Facebook conversation we started talking about our online classes. He decided that math was a good first online class. Maybe he had more than just cultural barriers. Anyway, he said that I was distracting him from his work. Funny considering he initiated the conversation. So he said to text him. Mistake #2.
Can you see these little escalations. Before I go on, let me tell you that he is at least 23, but probably closer to 25. But I figured that if he needed help on his classes, he should have someone to contact. I'm such a clever gal (humble too :)). And he did ask me for help one time. But our conversations continued through text. Not very often though.
One night I get a text message. "Hey." Harmless, right? I respond and I get "Are you drinking." Talk about illegal. I told him so. Mistake #3. I should have talked about how I have vowed to never drink and things like that (which is very true). But because I said that I was underage, we go back into the high school thing. He must have had to ask again to make quadruple sure or something. Then he asks if it would be illegal if we hung out. So I said depending on what we do, no. Mistake #4. Before I go on, let me just say, I don't talk to boys or guys very often. Especially drunk ones. I have this forcefield around me that sends them flying in every which direction whenever they get close. Like the bullets off of those forcefield droids from star wars. So we are no entering into huge inexperience territory.
Back to the story: He promised he wouldn't do anything. Then he proceeds to tell me that he thinks that there are some sexy things about me. I shut it down right then and there. He was offended that I wouldn't let him think things about me. At that point I just didn't care.
So this was my first ever experience texting a drunk person. I just have to say one thing. Keep you drunk thoughts about minors to your drunk selves. Minor girls are jailbait, so just don't do it.
So in the last month I have become an official adult. Two months ago I graduated from high school. I'm starting to get.....old. (Extra points to whoever can name that movie) I tell you this because this story comes from some months ago, before I went from a minor to a major. As you all know, I have been attending college while in high school. Even though most people go to this college for a general AA degree, I am going to become a personal trainer. Yes! Well in this program, you have the same teacher for just about every class and the same people within just about every class. Everyone in this program becomes very close and comfortable with each. Sometimes a little too close. Okay, now that I have set up this story for you, it is time :)
One of my programmates is from another country with a really awesome name. He is super friendly and funny, but still has a huge language and culture barrier. One day I log into Facebook and he has friend requested me. So I said to myself, "Self, he's in my classes, I see him almost everyday, why not?" First mistake. Another day I log in and he pops up on the little messenger thing. And we talked for like 30 seconds, my typical conversation length (I'm not very sociable). This happens several times, each time the fact that I was still in high school came up. The last Facebook conversation we started talking about our online classes. He decided that math was a good first online class. Maybe he had more than just cultural barriers. Anyway, he said that I was distracting him from his work. Funny considering he initiated the conversation. So he said to text him. Mistake #2.
Can you see these little escalations. Before I go on, let me tell you that he is at least 23, but probably closer to 25. But I figured that if he needed help on his classes, he should have someone to contact. I'm such a clever gal (humble too :)). And he did ask me for help one time. But our conversations continued through text. Not very often though.
One night I get a text message. "Hey." Harmless, right? I respond and I get "Are you drinking." Talk about illegal. I told him so. Mistake #3. I should have talked about how I have vowed to never drink and things like that (which is very true). But because I said that I was underage, we go back into the high school thing. He must have had to ask again to make quadruple sure or something. Then he asks if it would be illegal if we hung out. So I said depending on what we do, no. Mistake #4. Before I go on, let me just say, I don't talk to boys or guys very often. Especially drunk ones. I have this forcefield around me that sends them flying in every which direction whenever they get close. Like the bullets off of those forcefield droids from star wars. So we are no entering into huge inexperience territory.
Back to the story: He promised he wouldn't do anything. Then he proceeds to tell me that he thinks that there are some sexy things about me. I shut it down right then and there. He was offended that I wouldn't let him think things about me. At that point I just didn't care.
So this was my first ever experience texting a drunk person. I just have to say one thing. Keep you drunk thoughts about minors to your drunk selves. Minor girls are jailbait, so just don't do it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)