Dare I say it......Lalaloopsy dolls

Okay it's been a while since I've posted. You know how it goes....super busy life, especially as a student. But hopefully this one makes up for it by bringing a smile to your face. 

So story time:

The week after Christmas, some members of my family and I went to visit my Grandma. My aunt lives nearby, and so brought her kids over. And as many of you know how it is, little kids have to bring their new toys everywhere. Well her 10 year old brought along her new doll.....her new Lalaloopsy doll. The world's most disturbing new doll brand. I say new because it only adds to the collection of disturbing dolls in my family, as I learned later that day, but that is a different story. Anyways, I am pretty sure these dolls were made by men who grew up ripping the heads off of their sister's Barbie dolls. Seriously, these dolls have taken the head off of Lilo's (from Lilo and Stitch) doll and put it on the body of a Barbie doll. Straight out of Sid from Toy Story's bedroom! What possess little girls to want these dolls...well it must be the dolls themselves. Pure evil!

So I put that doll in the disturbing images trash bin in my brain and forgot about it. Until I was later watching my Nickelodeon teenage soap opera/comedies about a month later and on came a commercial....the Lalaloopsy sisters! My immediate reaction: "They're everywhere!" in a scared whisper half thinking that they would come out of the TV if I were to give away my position. That is how disturbing these dolls are. So I then, in typical teenage manner, posted that exact statement on my Facebook page. And guess who responds, my aunt, the mother of this fear bringing child. She said that said child used her birthday money to buy yet a third doll! This is the aunt who didn't allow her oldest child to even watch Lilo and Stitch. And here she has allowed her daughter to become possessed by the head of Lilo's doll. Later that night she posts a picture of her daughter with the dolls, in my honor of course. Like I need to be reminded of these devil's faces. So I thanked her for my nightmares. She said how they were perfectly fine during family prayer. Well yeah! Even the devil has to succumb to the power of prayer (sorry, I am not trying to assert my religious beliefs onto anyone, this is just part of the story and my perfectly rational fear). Later, I was in the laundry room, with a bottle of hydrogen peroxide cleaning out my ears (maybe strange, but hey it works). We have this nifty new dryer that kicks on every 5 minutes post cycle the keep your clothes from being wrinkled. Well in my feared state, and forgetting that this happens, when the dryer kicked on, I about spilled the entire bottle everywhere. So I told my aunt so, do you know what her response was? "How about coming to visit? We haven't had a night out in a while." My response: I am not going to be alone with your kids and those dolls. Her kids are very good at torture devices by themselves, they do not need the help of possessed dolls. (That part was omitted of course, but I was thinking it!) 

Valentine's Day comes and she gave me a wonderful gift. A picture of her daughter with Lalaloopsy pencils! Their heads are the erasers!!!!! Does anyone else think this is wrong? Witchcraft I swear! I was so worried about nightmares when I went to bed that night. Thankfully I dreamed about the Apocalypse instead......wait, is there something wrong with that statement? Anyway, this is my rant: LALAOOPSY DOLLS ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!! And if you don't believe me, here is a picture of said dolls to help you see it my way

Be afraid! Be very afraid! There was another picture with a headless.....something, but it was too disturbing for some audiences.

Automatic Hand soap dispensers

Okay so quick clarification on last weeks post before I go into this one: my polisci teacher is not in fact a man. Because I am taking an online class, I never really found out the gender of said teacher. As it turns out, she is in fact a woman. A German woman. Which explains a lot. 

Anyway, this week's post. It is about something that really, really annoys me. We've all experienced their attempts to shoot out soap, but end up missing your hand or never even firing in the first place. That is right: automatic hand soap dispensers. They first appeared in hoity toity public bathrooms that made you feel like you were in fact going to be germ free. I mean it's automatic and therefore preventing the germs that are on soap dispensers from ever touching your hands. 

Then they appeared everywhere, getting more soap on the counter than on your hands, and hardly ever even sensing your hands in the first place. My friend and I were in the bathroom at a fast food restaurant yesterday, and there was one in there. Between the both of us, we waved our hands at least twenty times, and we barely got the three squirts that were available. Not to mention, the "right amount every time," turned out to be this pathetic squirt that would only get a clean hand clean. And our hands were not clean. We had just spend two hours on playground equipment.
Now they have ones for home!

I mean, I can understand automatic faucets. You do have to turn off faucets, which defeats the purpose of washing your hands in the first place. I can even understand automatic paper towel dispensers (haha they're fun to play with :)). But I cannot possibly understand hand soap dispensers. I've already stated the noticeable traits that I don't like, but there is one thing that I really have a problem with. Why does it matter whether or not you get germs on your hands? You're using the soap to WASH your hands! That means you're washing the germs right off of your hands. It's not like they'll be on there long enough to hold on with their little germ hands and never let go. The real reason why they sell the home ones, is to waste your money, and just hope that gullible people think that they're saving themselves. Please people, do not buy these things. Frustration, thrown away money, and soapy counters will only come your way.